Major tranisitons...

So this past Autumn, life got interesting. After jumping into the relationship with Erin, I found myself re-thinking about what it means to be in a relationship, and more importantly all the things that God is calling me out on.

The whole story of how Erin and I started dating can be summed up in this: I wasn't romantically attracted, but then God happened. And when God happens, it's hard to ignore...

While there was no burning bush, parting of the sea, or any other physical trace of God moving, I was sure that God was on the move. I think more often than not, God is moving behind the scenes, and we only notice it's Him because it's that thing, that *IMPOSSIBLE* thing, that suddenly IS possible, and it's staring us right in the face.

If you had told me back in July, that I would be dating Erin, I would have had a lot to say about it, and not even a hint of what I would say would give any trace that I thought it was possible. In fact, by late August, I was done with dating. I didn't want to think about it. I actually loathed the thought of going through the motions of having to "prove" myself to another girl. I thought for the longest time that I would have to prove something to "her" (either with money, or feelings, or my intellect for example). But then God happened. All summer long, a relationship was developing, and I had no idea until that day in early October that God had been working all along behind the scenes.

And then six weeks in to dating, I realized that I really get along with Erin. For lack of a better word we have fun. What I mean by that is that in every level of conversation we have, I see life blooming. Even in some of our moments of disagreements, there has been that feeling of life blooming. That to me is fun. The thought of spending the rest of my life with her is fun. I want our future to be enjoyable, and with God in the mix, I believe it will truly be an adventure.

So that realization brought on another transition: why not probe the idea of spending the rest of our lives together? As we talked it over, we came to see that we're probably as ready as we're going to be to get married. It's exciting to me because we aren't in our early 20's with the questions looming large of what we want to do with the rest of our lives, or wrestling with college debt, or considering how we're going to live out the rest of our days. We both feel that marriage is a journey that we want to embark on together, and that leaves me totally amazed. God has truly done a marvelous work behind the scenes and I for one, am very thrilled to watch it start to unfold here and now.

I recently came to the end of my (paid) role at church. I knew all along it would be temporary, and while there is part of me that looks out to the road ahead with some uncertainty, I believe that God still has a plan. Waiting with baited breath for the next stage to unfold isn't fun. The stress is disheartening at times, to be totally honest. But then there are moments where I realize that I am not alone. God has put wonderful friends around me who are praying for me, and I am confident that God knows what he's doing, even when I struggle to understand, or keep my faith.

Hopefully the next day or two will tell what I need to be doing to prepare for the next part of this journey. I wonder what I'll say in 6 months when I look back at this entry?

Till next time,
~Paul