24 hours in Bedford (posted Friday Oct. 27th)

So I'm in the bedford library. my cousin Abi has gone back to her flat with her son Owen. I came up last night on the train (a four hour trip from Bognor up through London and then north to Bedford). When I arrived Abi's husband Jon met me and after a brief hello to Abi, Jon and I set out for Damien's house (a friend of Jon's). Jon and some friends are playing a pub show in December so they got together to practice last night. They're really good and in spite of it being their first night of playing, by the end they were a fairly tight group.

Today Jon has been at work so Owen, Abi and I went to the park to let Owen have a run around while Abi and I talked about old memories of being in youth group at Vineyard Evanston and life afterwards. It's interesting comparing my experience to that of the youth here. Some of the same things that they see are on par with some of the same things I dealt with. I find myself thinking of Chris Herning (my old youth pastor) and wonder if he saw things in this way when I was a student under him.

Today was a good day. I woke feeling at peace with the fact that I'm here and that I've made some really good connections with people already. And while it has been hard to stay focused on God at times and trust Him that He is faithful to lead me through this transition phase, it is happening even when I don't see it or feel it. And having a somewhat familiar face around like Abi's is really nice. We weren't super close back in youth group (she was two years ahead of me) but we were a part of the chicago group and we all tended to stick together (late movie nights on Saturday and then go to church the next day only to sleep through the sermons!! great times!!).

Y'know, as crazy as I can feel at times about growing up and moving on, it's good overall. You'll have to forgive me, but I can tend to be a bit dramatic in my thoughts about growing up and moving on...I'm very much a people person and if I could ever put into words how I feel about my close friends I would. I know, not typical of a guy to put feelings out there, but I do have it in me (rarely as it may show!).

If you couldn't tell by now, I am also very much feelings oriented. I don't like it most days cause I can wear my heart on my sleeve (which I think drove Ian Carroll nuts some days!!!). It's funny too though because I come here and I don't have close friends who I can open up to so there is a bit of a clash of wanting to talk about how I feel (cause I can go by my feelings) and yet I have a slight reservation in opening up too quickly to people. So it's been a challenge walking that line and just letting things happen "naturally". I'm laughing at myself as I write this cause I see a bit of a paradox there if that makes sense.

Oh, something else that I've noticed here. There is a LOT of diversity in ethnic groups here depending on where you go. I know we have it in the states, but it's somehow different here. Indian, Asian, Italian, various African faces....it can really stand out to me sometimes. Even here in the library, I'm surrounded by a lot of different people.

Church is like that too. English, Scottish, Irish, Dutch...so many accents when you listen for it. It's pretty cool, and I really like getting to know people from different backgrounds. Even to see how life has progressed here since the war is interesting. I think in the states we can get land locked and we're not really the kind of people to think too far beyond our borders. But here where it's a much more central location to the rest of the world it's a lot more open. If that makes sense.

Anyway, do come and visit when y'all can. OH!! I met Sarah (an AMERICAN!) last night who was in Chicago just days ago! She was talking about Pilsen and how much she liked the city....made me miss home! We also had a bit of fun taking the mc out of the brits in the room. It was nice to hear some VERY american phrases....we had a good laugh in a way the english wouldn't understand! Heh heh heh...

But seriously. Come visit, I'd love to show off my flat and show off my surroundings. It's great here and I am moving forward. Keep in touch!
Paul

Half term

Wow. a good week overall.

Tues. night I went to housegroup and had a nice time. We had a "fun" night and did some karaoke...I did a splendid imitation of Vanilla Ice with Ice ice Baby. Made everyone laugh and I had a good time.

Wed. I went with a few others from church to a Discipleship course at a local college/ hotel here in Bognor. It was a good time all three days (Wed. thurs. Fri.). I was challenged with some new things as well as reminded of things I need to keep in mind when in leadership and teaching others as well as being taught myself....

Wed. night was FOAM. Jess was away so Kate was my help for the evening, and we both commented the next day how surprising it was that none of the students could really form their own words in response to the question "what does it mean to be a Christian?" I think that sheds some light on where to go in the future with them.

Thursday night was Troop, and that went really well. I wasn't feeling up for it (I had very little sleep the night before) and I wasn't sure if what I had prepared would fly. But after some prayer and focusing in on God, I shared what I had and the response was really good.

I opened the night by explaining that if their expectation of me is that I'm here with some great revelation from God and that I'm the one who's going to help them get their lives in order and speak direction into their lives then they're wrong. I explained that the only real amount of authority I have over them is how much they give me. I may hold the title of youth pastor, but when it comes down to it they have to make the choice to either take my suggestions to heart or go their own way. I can't make any of them do something if they don't want to do it. After that I shared about loving yourself and seeing yourself as God sees you. It was really good because I think in their lives they hear so much about love and all these great ideas surrounding that, but if a person can't love themself, how can they expect to receive love from others? or more importantly from God who created them?

Anyway, I thought it was good and one of the students even came and talked about it with me afterwards.

Friday was the Raise Ya Hands benefit concert that Sara and other students put on, and it was a really good night! Four of us opened the night with drum/ percussion solos, and Nick (a percussionist) and I were asked to close the night! It got the crowd going and a lot of good comments and overall I feel it was one of those nights that deepens friendships. All in all about 16 different acts performed, and as tired as the team seemed at the end of the night, I think it went off really well. Sara seemed relieved that it was over and done with.

Saturday was a low key day and now we head in to the half term break, so a lot of people are away this week on vacation or some other event to break away from the usual. Troop and FOAM are cancelled this week, so I may try to get out and see some sights. I'll post more when I can....miss you all!
Paul

Walking on...

Whew. what a week.
Jess and Kate (the new DNA students) helped with FOAM on WED. and Jess is in Troop on Thurs. so it's good to have some help there (FOAM needs more guys to come along...the last two weeks it's been all girls and me...I'd love to see more guys there! please pray for that to happen).
Last Tues. was bit better than monday, so things are being worked through. I still feel lonely and disconnected at points, but as I said, it takes time for all this to work out...I don't like it but it's the process God has me in I guess.

Saturday night Jess, Kate and I went to go to Chitchester to see a movie. It was a good time (although I think we all wished more people could have made it out with us). It was nice to have time to NOT think about work and the transition phase I'm in.

Sunday was church and I am now in the lead role for Grapes (the 12-18 age group). It's been going ok this past month, and in Nov. I'm going to split the ages 11-13 and then 14-18. I'll take the older crowd and see what to do with them...please pray about that. I really want to see them take steps towards a place of maturity where they can (and want to) sit in with the main service.
This week I'm busy all nights except tonight (Monday). Housegroup on Tues. FOAM on Wed. Troop on TH. and then Raise Ya Hands on Fri. RYH is the benefit show for AIDS victims in S. Africa. Pat (one of the uni students here) and I are going to open the night with a drum off! I'm pretty stoked, and I can't wait to have a bit of crazy fun:-) DVD's will be available thanks to support by Apple (yes, Sara pulled out some really amazing stops for this thing in the way of sponsorship) and I'm really thrilled to see what they put their hearts to next.

Troop has been going well. We've had some real moments of voulnerability, and I'm so thankful to God for leading the group in relationships and how He's using me to challenge them to a deeper level of relationship with Jesus. Plese pray that I would stay real and keep MY eyes on Jesus. I want to point the young people to Him and I want to speak from being in that place of a real relationship with Him.

That's most of the main news here. I'd love to hear how you all are doing. Take care! Paul

Rough day

So the last two days have been interesting. by that i mean very challenging.

I had a rough night of sleep Sunday which probably didn't help my day get off to a great start.
I got lost on my way in to work, and it wasn't fun. I felt like such a flippin' tourist and wayy out of my comfort zone.

After working at the shop all day (tearing out shelves and the leftover pieces of the wall) Jan took me shopping at a place called Tesco's (it's really close to Jewel or Dominicks). For some reason walking around tesco's really caught me off guard and I really felt insecure being there. Everything was so close to being at home yet it all stood out as completely foreign.

After that I was supposed to go to a youth and childrens worker meeting, but due to a fluke in texting here I missed a ride to the meeting and didn't go.

All that was really frustrating. I'm a world away from anything familliar and while i'm ok with it there are times where it is REALLY unsettling. I really miss home. I know I'm called to be here, but I don't like this stage. No close friends, and I feel like I'm stumbling to find my feet and fall into a rutine.

The honeymoon phase is over and coming into the fact that this is really happening is hard. Verity came back last night and she saw I wasn't having a good day and we had a long talk about it which was helpful. But I miss my friends! I miss the silly moments, the serious moments, the dull moments. In coming here I see how much I've changed over the last 6 years and a lot of that is from God, yes, but also through godly friends and I really miss you all.

Oak Park Vineyard is still MY HOME church. I may be gone, but it doesn't mean i don't want to know about life back there. I want to hear the funny, the silly, even the boring news from home. cause right now I don't exactly feel connected here...or there. I do want to know that I have friends who think of me...

I may not be the worlds greatest communicator, but I will try and keep in touch as best as I can. I miss you all so much and I can stress how much i want to still feel conneceted to home. I really want to call you and hear how you're doing in a more personal way than through a cold keyboard, but I left my cell (with all the numbers!) in the states! Email me and let's setup a time to chat over the phone...

Time for supper. There is so much more I want to say, but for now I miss home and I dearly want to know what's happening there. Ian, how did you do it? wow...
Paul

Over the wekend...

So...let's see...

Friday we met the new students coming on board for a year of discipleship training. They're cool and they seem really excited to be here (one of them even got a vision of looking out to sea a week before she heard she would be here...on the seafront!)

Saturday I moved in and last night I slept in my new flat (that's an appartment in case you didn't know. Appartments here are what we would call condominiums). I STILL have not met my new roommates yet!! They got in at like 3am and I was like "no way am I getting up now to meet them". Oh well...maybe later tonight.

saturday evening I went over to Alex Hamiltons for dinner and to watch the England Vs. macedonia football game. Alex and his wife are a really nice couple from the church and two of their kids are in the youth group at church. After that DJ came and picked me up and I went and saw "Crash" with Dj, Matt, Jess, kate, and Verity. Good movie...

Today at church I played drums and it was a good time. God really showed up and there was even an encore for "How Great Is Our God". I don't know how much I'll really use that gift here cause there is so much other stuff going on and as much as I love the drums, part of me wants to focus on other things.

After worship I led the Grapes class (12-17 age group). It went OK and I look forward to the next few weeks when we tackle Hebrews chapter 11!

After church there was an open house sort of thing at the home of one of the church members, and it was a nice time. i sat and talked mostly with the new comers which was pretty cool.
So this next week will be finding out what I need over at the new place. I'm a bit frustraited over not being able to find a power converter to plug my american electronics into (and then from there into the wall sockets here). I may get back over to Portsmouth this week to see if the stores there have what I'm looking for.

OH! i did go swimming yesterday with Jan and two of his three boys which was cool. I'm also looking at getting a membership there so I can get back into swimming three days a week.

So there's my weekend. Hope all of you across the pond are good!

Oops...

Sorry! This blog was meant to go BEFORE the post marked "A month out". Read this before that and some things will make sense...

10.5.06
Ok so i wasn't going to post today, but this dream I had last night was really stirring. I thought I'd post about it and ask y'all to pray.

I was camping with a group of people (I couldn't make out anyone I was with, but my gut tells me we were somewhere in England). Storm clouds moved in and the weather turned on us. Someone came running up and said there was a tornado down the hill coming up against us. I went out and looked and sure enough I saw a tornado forming and coming for the camp. The group got scared and fled. I stood my ground and did the only thing I could think of. I put my hand out in front of me (palm out against the tornado) and screamed at the top of my voice: "IN THE NAME IF JESUS, I COMMAND YOU TO LEAVE!!!" At that the tornado disappeared. Three more formed up and came for me and I did the same thing. The next thing i knew the group had returned and they helped fight back the tornados in the name of Jesus.

Pretty powerful, huh?

All day i've been thinking and praying about it. I don't know if it means the church here is in for some attack or what, I just know that it's a call to stand in the confidence of Jesus name whatever happens.

So I'm off to Troop (the sr. youth group) tonight. It should be interesting as I think we'll be talking about wholeness and what it looks like when God comes and deals with stuff on every level of our lives.

Foam was good last night and even thoough we didn't totally get through the lesson (there were a lot of questions ranging from the Big Bang to dinosaurs, and to the question of how do we know Jesus IS the answer? what about islam or other options? that's all for next week I assured them). Oh well. At least they seem an inquisitive bunch!

Sara Morris went home early from school today after another bad headache and a really bad dizzy spell. Please pray that she comes through this and finds total healing. It's a challenge for me to not let my burden bearing self kick in and try to do more to help her. She's got a lot going at school and everyone here feels pretty sad for her.

Tomorrow is sort of a day off and I think I move into my flat at Highfield Road (along with some shopping and other errands to make my room a bit more comfy)! We also have two students coming on board to do a sort of "discipleship/intern" year with us. There is talk I may have some significant role in helping them develop their gifts and help them find ways to plug in and serve. I'm excited!

Well, that's it for now. I miss you all and it's hard not having the comfort factor that I did when I was home. But good things are happening here, and I'm very priviledged to be a youth leader who's worked on two continents! Truly more from God than I could ever ask for or hope for. Till next time!
Paul

A month out...

So here it is, a month since I left home. a lot has happened, and I'm really excited over this weekend!

But first off:

last night (Thursday) was Troop. i was a bit dissapointed cause it was only 5 that showed up (two of them were 19 and 20 year old university students, so it wasn't a big crowd). I wasn't going to share what i had prepared, but matt told me to flip a a coin and if it was heads I would do the lesson and if it was tails I would do the back up lesson (which would have been to recycle Wed. nights object lesson).

The coin landed on heads. So with 5 I started.

We looked at three different stories of Jesus healing people out of Luke. We discussed what the back stories may have been for these individuals and what life was like before and after the healing. On of the students then asked "that's great, but what does this have to do with us?"
Good question i replyed. I then spoke about God coming into our lives and how he loves us too much to let us stay the same. And then i got a bit voulnerable and shared some of my healing experiences over the last two years and what it has been like for me to come out of lies that I've had since childhood. Once i shared that and put my heart out there, the group was dead silent for minutes on end. I don't think they were expecting that and it seemed to stir things in their own hearts. One girl mentioned that she has been struggling with intimidation and feels intimidated by people around her (I think others were probably thinking about their own issues as well and didn't feel like sharing). i think it was a good night and I'm really excited to see where stuff goes over these next few weeks with teaching voulnerability and that God wants us to be healed and to find wholeness.

Today I was up at 6am for the 6:30 prayer meeting at the office. It was a really good time and at the end i shared my dream from two nights ago and some felt that i should be prayed for. It was really encouraging, and God really spoke to me about standing in confidence and that as I do that others will learn it as well and start to fight whatever is opposing them in life.

I have NOT moved into my flat yet. today was raining for most of the day so Jan (pronounced Yawn) said tomorrow might be better. Oh well...

We had a lunch here at Jan and Lisa's for the new discipleship students. Jess and Kate are 19 and 20 (I think) and they are really nice. After lunch kate had a list of really good questions on the youth and what has been happening so far. It was good to have that talk cause it forced me to really think about what stage we're at and where to go from here.

Tonight I'm totally free. Jan and Lisa are going out and the kids are going to be away so I think I'll try and go out or maybe have some people over and watch the ORIGINAL Italian Job. We'll see...

Till next time!
paul

Another post

So sorry that I haven't posted in over a week. I meant to over the weekend but i never got around to it. Oh well. A quick one for now I guess...

Last thursday we had troop. It was kind of hard going cause I didn't plan a real lesson I just wanted to know what the group expected of me and what they would like to see happen in the future. So we made a list of ideas/ expectations. I DID have to mention that I have authority to nix anything from the list so things like having me around one time a week to do the kids laundry was a no go for example. It was a good night overall (I had to use a bit of a stern voice at one point when some of the youth got a bit out of hand with conversations that were not on the subject...they're easily distracted over here!)

Friday night was very fun. It was Jan's last day at his job (he's now a full time pastor and it's a bit of a leap of faith for him...which has been nice to know that i'm not the only one here who's taking a huge risk in life and work). Jan got some of the guys together and we met up at a local pub for a drink and a chat. It was good fun.

Saturday i went and got my hair cut. Now all the blond is gone and it's pretty short. People say I look more like a brit now. I guess I can't get away from that forever, can I?

Saturday night Verity and her cousin invited me to dinner by camp stove on the beach which was quite nice of them. Most of the night was spent taking the mick out of me for this or that, but it wasn't all totally undeserved:-)

Sunday was church and afterwards Jan's family and I went over to his parents place for tea and a bit of snacks. It was a nice time. jan's parents are dutch survivors of the war, so I'm looking forward to chatting with them about it next time I see them.

Monday I got to see my flat for the first time. Jan and I took out the old carpet from my room and today jan and nathan (one of the kids Jan worked with in his last job as a social worker) painted my room while I was here at the Morris' helping them get the place ready in time for the students arrival on Friday. The flat is really nice and I'll be moving in sometime after the new carpet gets put in this week. I'm excited!!

That's most of the major news here. I know I've missed some details cause it's been over a week. Oh, I'm playing drums this week in church! The housegroup i attend on Tuesday's leads worship one time a month, so they've asked me to play this weekend....it's nice, but we need a bass player! I've seen a need for drummers, but never a bass player. I guess I always thought the bass was a bit more of a glorified position than the drums...guess I was wrong.

Tonight is FOAM tomorrow is Troop...and I don't know what exactly will fill in the rest of the week. Oh Jan and I are also doing a bit of demolition work in the Vineyard shop here in town getting the back rooms ready to use as a meeting place. That's been fun and I'll post pics of that along with the 5 million others I'll have to post by the time I actually get around to it...

Tomorrow is our first "staff" meet where the core leaders get together and stratigize and plan how we'll take over Bognor!! just kidding....

I am also looking at starting up a younger (university) age house group for 18 to mid 20s. We'll see how that goes (I'm excited about it!!)

Right, I need to go clean up from painting and then get some thoughts out on paper for tonight. I'm getting more and more settled here, but the moments of feeling like a foreigner haven't really died off and I'm still trying to find my feet and not worry too much about this that and the other. Today has been kinda hard though cause I haven't been sleeping as well as I'd like and it's been hard to concentrate on even simple tasks like painting a door (it usually doesn't take me much to get a coat of paint on but today was different...) anyway. Please keep praying that I get settled and that God continues to lead me through this process. And let me know how I can pray for you!

Oh yes, and if you could please pray for Sara. She went and had tests done yesterday to see why she get's these nasty headaches. We're waiting on the results. We've prayed for her and it's kinda hard to see the problem still present. Guess that's the hard part of watching students through the good and bad of life.

Till next time,Paul