Sunshine and rain

Well, it's hard to believe it's been 7 months. Over the past few weeks I've been really excited, and there is the potential for so much to happen this year here.

Saturday the 6th of May, about 7 of us from my tuesday night home group held a 1940's themed birthday party. We rented out a hall over in Eastergate and decoreated the room in 1940's style. Food, music and dancing (there may be a very embarrasing video of me dancing posted online at some point in the near future...don't worry, I'll let you know when and where!)

Last week from Monday through Friday I was pretty much out of comission with a head cold. When I was finally better I didn't feel at all prepared for the weekend. Saturday was a very full day with a large portion going to the Holy Spirit day (part of the Alpha course we're running here). Over the last 10 weeks we have run a very successful Alpha course. For those of you who maybe don't know what an Alpha course is, it is a place where people can come and find out about the Christian faith in a friendly and warm atmosphere over a hot meal. I have been a part of the course in a supporting role over the last 5 weeks or so, and it has been interesting to watch the changes that are happening in the non-christians who have been coming along.

Saturday was a big day of prayer and finding out more of who God is. After the day away, I went to a barbeque for one of my friends to celebrate her birthday. I had to leave the party a early to go attend another church event over in Chitchester (ReturnUK). I was quite tired after that, and decieded not to go meet up with another friend's birthday party....so it was a full weekend.
Sunday was church and over the last 4 weeks now we have been running a youth Alpha course. This has been a very good experience so far, and I am convinced this is due to the team really coming together in the support of the vision. we hope to see young people develop their faith and experience the love that God has for them. I can say that so far that goal has been met more than I expected, and it has been wonderful to see the youth growing in their faith. Please pray for this course as we continue on over the next few weeks. There is so much potential for good relationships and mentoring here, and it is our goal to do our part in making sure that growith continues to happen. Ultimately, without God in it, we won't see anything longterm, and I cannot stress how key the longterm impact needs to be.

Recently I have had a deep desire to see more of God. I want to see more people coming to faith, and more people finding freedom from the various issues that are keeping them tied down in one respect or another. I firmly believe God wants to do so much more here in Bognor. Over the last two days however, I have come to discover that the price to pay can be a bit painful. Personally I have been challenged to put aside my pride and my expectations or assumptions of how God wants to work. I don't know if you can relate to the feeling of pushing down pride and the desire to have everything worked out, and going through spiritual discipline...if you can relate then you know what I mean when I say that the more I see of God's plan, the more frustraited I can be at the fact that I need to rely on God for EVERYTHING.

While the challenges can feel immensly difficult at times, I do find that I am consistantly humbled at the many ways in which God shows his faithfulness and confirms that this is indeed, where I am supposed to be. And I wouldn't trade that for anything.

This next week a lot is unfolding. I have been asked to take on more leadership in the trip to Soul Survivor (the big summer youth conference here in England). I'm aiming to get away sometime and hopefully go see France or Scotland. I know the summer will get busy very fast, and before that happens I hope to have a chance to get away and recharge my batteries. Please pray that God opens a door for me to have some good time away and soon.

I hope this entry finds you well. I do miss home and think of you often.
Paul

These past few days...

Below is a bit of an email report I sent to my parents about what's been happening here. Thought you might like to hear as well. I miss you guys and am praying for you when ever I think of you. Enjoy!

Paul

Saturday night I was at an event called ReturnUK, a christian worship night put on by a really gifted worship leader here who used to attend Vineyard. He now works with Uni students in Chitchester 1 night a week and is a successful web designer. Rex (that's his name)called me last week and told me that if there was one event to bring young people to, this was it. So I invited Sarah, James, and Poppy (three of our core young people...james couldn't make it in the end, sadly) and I invited Kelly, Laura, Kate and Helen from the uni student group. Rex had a guest speaker (Gearald Coates) come along. Gerald kind of reminds me of John Wimber, and like wimber he has started a church movement here called Pioneer church. Seems pretty close to Vineyard to me. Anyway, Saturday was amazing. It started with worship (as it usually does) and then we kind of wait and see what God wants to do. It's all a very relaxed environment kind of thing. And after Gearald shared some things, he asked if there was a Sarah in the room. Now, you have to understand that there were about 40-50 of us in this room. There was bound to be at least two sarah's in the room, or so I thought. In the end, Sarah Morris was the only one, and she went up with Poppy and got a powerful prophectic word. Knowing what I know of Sarah and her heart for Africa and children, I think most of the word was spot on. The word was basicially about Sarah being called to the missions field, and that she has a heart to work with children and that God is going to use that gift to touch thousands of lives. And that Sarah and Poppy are friends for a very specific reason, and that they have a call together to serve God.

After this, Kelly (who's been a Christian for about 8 months or so) came over to me. I was sitting on the floor, and she came up next to me and said that she felt God had a word for me. She said that while Gerald was sharing some things about how to hear from God she asked God "if this is real, can you give me a word for Paul?" and she said the response she heard was so clear, and like nothing she had heard before. The resoponse was "Tell him I believe in him". It got me at first when she said it, and I knew it was God in my heart. I thanked kelly with a smile and was so proud of her for taking the risk to share that. After she went away and started talking to someone else, I broke down crying, cause it was so good to hear. I've been stressing about the youth alpha (we started that this weekend) and I've had a lot on my plate as a young leader and have been asking God "when is it all going to be worth it? when do I see fruit from my sacrifice?" and while that didn't answer all my questions about direction, or about what I'm meant to be doing, it certainly cut to my heart on a lot of things.

Sunday we had a full service. We had two children dedicated and we had 8 people get baptized sunday night. 5 of them under 21, and individuals I work with. We all were so encouraged to see young people taking such a stand in faith. Helen and Kelly were two of the five. Really great young believers, and I am so excited over how far they have come in their faith these past few months. Last monday Helen asked me to baptize her. I was blown away, and was so honored to be asked. I've been here barely 7 months and already I'm honored to be baptizing people! wow.

Sunday night I got a call from Helen. She lives with 4 other students (all female) and one of her housemates (who I'm kind of friends with as well) talked to Helen before bed and said that she thinks she believes in God! Helen called me wanting to know what verses to go to and some steps to maybe walk through. I gave her a few and said that if they wanted to chat more I would be available today before group or after. i was so thrilled to hear of another entry into God's kingdom, and I'm so proud of Helen's testimony and the way she lives her life in front of 4 non-christian housemates.

We also had the start of our youth alpha course. I was a bit nervous of how to take the opener, but I felt good about it in the end. The team is very excited, the young people are ready for it, and I feel confident that God has plans to use it to encoourage, train and equip the young people in their everyday life. Wow. A lot is happenening at the moment!

This next weekend is our annual men's weekend away, and I'm very excited about that as well. Jan has asked me to take a session over the weekend, and I said I was more than happy to do so. I have yet to hear what the theme will be or if there is a specific topic I should go for, but overall I am very honored to have a chance to share something of God in my life with the men.

Wed. we are starting a youth night for younger guys. We have a pretty good crowd (5 or 6) and I hope to see those numbers grow. Jan and I will be leading it, I am a bit uneasy over the first week, but once we fall into a routine, I'm sure I'll be more comfortable with the role.

So that's what's been happening. I'm learning new things and seeing a lot of good come from it, and yet I am constantly reminded of the fact that i am a young leader and in leadership I can't please everyone or get everything right 100% of the time. It's a tough lesson and one I may always have to be reminded of. But for now I'm thankful for this weekend and all that God did!

Birthday Fun!!

So last Wednesday was my 27th birthday. Kind of funny to think, I'm already 3 years shy of 30!

The day was really good though. One of my downstairs neighbors prepeared breakfast for me. We had Crepe's (french pancakes). It was a good start to the day. The weather was FANTASTIC and I spent a good part of the day out in the sun. Throughout the day I had texts on my phone from friends here wishing me well and I even had a few cards. I now have a nice collection sitting on the mantle at home, and I even got a b-day box from my folks, which was a lovely touch. I went out that night with a few friends and had a nice time chatting and relaxing near the beach. Other friends are talking about taking me out at some other time to make up for missing the day (most of the university students were away on break).

As nice as the day was, I must admit I did have twinges of homesickness as I remembered past birthday's, and I wished that ALL of my friends could have been here with me to celebrate.
This week I'm heading back in to the swing of things as youth and uni students return back to Bognor from different places around the country and the globe (we had a few youth go to South Africa for a missions trip).

As life continues to move forward here, I am still thinking of home. Been dealing with homesickness, and trying to keep focused on the bigger picture. While I would love to be home in Oak Park comfy and secure, I also know that God has something here, and I don't want to miss it.

Yesterday, James, one of our young people met me for breakfast. James has recently returned from America to visit his parents there. After breakfast, James and I went to pick up a couch that he had purchased earlier that morning. It was quite funny, cause neither of us have a car, so we had to carry the couch half way through town to get it back to James' place! We got a number of odd looks to say the least!

Thank you for your prayers. Please keep praying for me to stay focused on God and to find my peace, strength, hope and comfort in Him.

till next time!
~Paul

April Showers...

well, almost april.

This past weekend I went with two friends (Martin and Debie) up to London to see the sights! It was a very good trip to say the least. We left Friday morning and arrived in London just around lunchtime. I was a bit queasy from the car ride, but I soon got over that (thankfully keeping down the pie and mash we had for lunch).

After lunch we took a walk in to more of London, starting at Tower Bridge. Shortly before we got to the bridge, I was inspired to sing and dance to the song "my little buttercup" from the film "The Three Amigos". This set a trend for the weekend that came to be called a "pob" (public out-burst). We made our way down along the thames river and arrived at the Tate museum of modern art. Me and my friend Martin were quite amazed at the large main hall, and while it probably would have been nice to browse the galleries, we were heavily distracted by the overwhelming need to go down the immense slide (debie took one look at the slide and decided it wasn't her cup of tea). There was a curly slide that went from the 5th floor all the way down to the ground floor- totally free to ride. We had to go and get tickets for it (tickets told us what time we would need to line up for the ride) and we had a little over an hour to kill before we had to be back for the adventure. We took a walk aross the Millenium Bridge and went around a local market for a bit and then made our way back to the museum. After standing in line for the slide, it was Martin's turn. As we were in line the man who wa taking tickets said it was a good idea to wear elbow pads. When asked why he replied "because you can get up to 30 miles per hour in there, and you don't want that kind of skin burn!" I was laughing at that. The ride took a little over 10 seconds, and it was quick. Quite fun too. We also found out it's the longest slide in all of England!

Friday night we went to go see the Lion King on stage. A very good show, and even though we were at the last row of the balcony, it was still a great show and took me back to being 9 years old and going to see stage shows with my family. I even found a 10 pound note on the floor at the theater! It helped later when we took a taxi back to the flat where Debie's mom lives.

Saturday We went and saw the Natural history museum and the Science museum, both really close to Hyde Park (made me think of Chicago!). We got lunch and ate near the water in Hyde Park even though it was a cold and windy day. I don't know if I'll opt to do that again...

We left London at about 3:30 and drove over to Greenwich and saw the Cutty Sark (a famous ship) but it was under construction, so we walked up the hill to the meridian line (where time zones "start"). Took some pictures and then had to be off again!

We were back to Bognor by about 7:30 or 8, went to rent a film (The Prestige) and got some dinner. We watched the film at my place and had a nice time hanging out before our short weekend trip was over.

The rest of my week has been good so far, with various activities with friends (uni students, homegroup friends, and friends from church). Some of the young people from church have left for a missions trip to South Africa for two and a half weeks, so the Thursday night group is off for a bit. In place of that, I have started to attend the Alpha course here, and am looking forward to gaining experience and ideas before we set off to do the Youth Alpha course at the end of April. Along with this, there is a two week break for University students, so some of my friends have gone home for the break. I am looking forward to having some time to do different things and plan new things for the next few months. To top it all off, I turn 27 in less than two weeks!! Wow, my first birthday overseas! Sure to be one to remember...

That's life in a nutshell here. I hope this finds you all well and happy where ever you may be!
Please do drop me a line sometime and let me know how you're doing!

Till next time!
~Paul

Warmer weather and steps of faith...

So since my last entry, lifes been interesting.

It's been great watching friendships build. I feel like I can forget how easy it can be to connect with people, and I can sometimes even take for granted how my personality works and connects with people. Over the last two weeks it's been great cause all these little moments of connection have added up and I'm feeling a lot more confident and comfortable around people.

My time with my cousin Sus was grand (although the weather could've co-operated a bit more!) and I'll post photos at some point soon (maybe today?) Am at the Vineyard fairtrade shope today, so this may seem a bit disjointed as I am back and forth with customers and typing this...

This weekend was clear weather and my first leaders dinner was Sunday night! Was great to be in a relaxed atmosphere out of church and just talk with people. Moments like that are really special, and I am in awe more and more at the work God has done already, and that I am so priveleged to be around such humble serving people.

What's changing? some of it has been my faith. Recently God has been highlighting some of the ways I have not trusted Him. Sometimes faith and trust for God feels like taking a step up on an invisible staircase. But last week I started each day with a prayer that I would trust God and find more confidence in Him. Since then I've rarely shrunk away from decisions or issues that I've needed to face. God has been showing that He's bigger than my fears or situations. Sometimes an elementary lesson, but one I think we keep coming back to and growing in.

I wish you could experience what this means to me. I've been to the top of the world in the Canadian rockies, and I've been to the bottom of the Grand Canyon, but didn't really think I could be the kind of person to go half way round the world in this way. And the joys have been super amazing, and the challenges have been daunting, but God has been dealing with those and opening my eyes in the process, and I am excited to be an encouragement to people as I find my Joy in God.

This past weekend I felt God reminded me what I'm living for. and I shared this Sunday morning to encourage the church. God reminded me:

When I was 15 I went to my first school dance. I was good friends with a girl who asked me to be her date to homecoming. We had talked that week before of what we would wear and so I had some idea of what she would look like. So imagine if you will, me as a 15 year old, so nervous as I'm waiting in her front room with my parents and trying to make small talk with her parents. After what felt like an eternity, I heard her voice from upstairs saying she was ready. The moment she walked into the room for one brief moment the world melted away and it was just the two of us, smiling at each other. I'm convinced my heart skipped a few beats in that moment...her hair done by her aunt, that beautiful burgundy dress and those blue eyes and wonderful smile staring back at me. I thought "that's my date. That's who I get to dance with and I wouldn't want anyone else in the world". As I remembered that moment on Saturday, I felt that God was saying one day when I meet Jesus, it will be like that moment, only a million times better cause Jesus will be so real. Right now it can sometimes feel like he's just another story in the Bible or a list to follow rather than a person. But I'd rather live for a person than a checklist or story. In this place of finding my faith I'm also finding how real Jesus us. And that's what I wish the rest of you could see.

It's been a bit heartbreaking as well because I know that each person has to make that choice for themself, and sometimes watching those around me seemingly miss who Jesus is breaks my heart. The best I can do for anyone (the young people, the university students, the youth staff and whoever else I interact with) is model the Jesus I know.

Last night in the Uni-student group we did a scavenger hunt around town! It was fun, and I may do it with the youth at some point as well. At the end of March, some of my friends and I are planning another trip up to London, so I'm VERY excited to see that city again! I haven't really been around there since last September when I first came.

On a scary note, I think I am slowly adapting to english life. I now call the bathroom the loo, and I find myself phrasing things differently and even adapting to some of the english insults! I enjoy watching rugby, and while I don't think the accent is there, it may not be far behind! Oh I'm also texting people more than I talk on the phone...the things I used to laugh at, I'm now doing! Oh well, when in rome...

I hope this entry finds you well, and please do drop me a line!
~Paul

March already???

What an adventure!

The previeous week was the half term break and that Wed. we took almost 20 young people over to Playzone in Portsmouth (Playzone is a big indoor playground where you can run, crawl, slide and jump off objects). I played tag with some of the young people until I couldn't run anymore. I guess my age was showing...it was a huge confidence booster, and I think we all had a blast.

Each day this past week has been good. Last Friday I met up with Ian Morris and Jan for tea and a chat about how things are going. I was honest with them and told them I've been a bit uneasy and have been dealing with things on a personal level that has spilled over into "work". Some of it I just chalk up to first year in ministry, and other stuff I know goes deeper and God is continuing to work on things He started to chip away at last year about this time. We had a good chat and I felt relieved to share things that were kind of heavy to carry.

Sunday night was a "soaking session" here at the back of the church office/ store. For those who don't know what soaking is, it's an extended time of prayer and meditation with God. I was quite refreshed and it helped me enter the week with more confidence.

Since then I've felt much more open. Tuesday at housegroup I shared some other things and while it felt a bit of a risk to open up, it was well received and I was very encouraged. I've begun to see some steps forward with both youth groups. At this present time we've lost some members in both groups, but overall it seems morale is picking up, and I'm excited to see some of them opening up in new ways. This week was particularly hard on one of the girls in the Troop (Thursday night) group as her older brother is recovering from an attack last Friday that left him needing surgery to put a plate in his left cheek bone (cause his face was beaten so badly) and he now faces a 50% chance of losing most of his facial nerves to the left side of his face. We took time to pray for the family after Troop which went very well.

Personally I have been challenged but I've also been very joyful this week. Sus (my cousin from the states) came over this past Thursday and she came down to see me along with her older sister Abi (my other cousin who lives up in Bedford) on Tuesday.

Life goes on here and I can't believe it's almost spring! The days are slowly getting longer and warmer and I'm feeling more and more settled in to the new environment here. Do feel free to drop me a line when you get a chance!
~Paul

A fun week...

So once again, a ton has happened since I last posted.

last Thursday was the National Leaders Conference. Quite the day on a number of levels! I won't bore you with the details, but I felt God spoke to me about a few things that were on my mind (one big thing was using my time wisely, something I have struggled with now and then). The evening prayer/ ministry time was amazing (prayer for those under 30) and I felt God touching on other things there as well.

Overall it was a day of learning and equipping for the road ahead, and as I've thought more about the year ahead I wonder if I am ready for the challenges...more on that later.

Saturday night was another good evening over in Chitchester. Rex Allchurch (one of the local worship leaders) has partnered with one of his friends (Chris Kent) and they are starting up meetings once a month called ReturnUK which meet on or about the first Saturday of the month. It's just a prayer/ worship meeting. It was another good night and one in which I felt God speaking more about destiny and equipping for the road ahead.

Sunday I woke with a lovely sore throat and cough. Made for a challenging day, but the upshot was I prayed for one of the members of our Uni home group (for re-occuring headaches) and since then she's not had a single headache all week! After church I had a call with the parents (always nice to touch base with "home") and then a youth team meeting.

The meeting...went well for the most part, but really opened my eyes to some things that were hard to take at first. But let me share briefly what I am learning out of that experience:

1. I am leading a team. Something I haven't really done before on a level like this. I have no doubts as to managing the team, but it is more work than I thought. It's people, people who want to know they are appreciated, and that the time and resources they put in to serving the youth are not unnoticed and worth something to someone (it's exactly how I felt when I came in to youth ministry).

2. I am a new leader. I had hopes that every move I make this year would be as smooth as skating on freshly made ice. That however is not the case. In dealing with people I have to learn how to communicate with each one individually but also lead them as a whole. It's a welcome challenge, but a challenge nontheless.

3. I love working with people. There are fun times, memories to be made, and hopefully in a few years we'll all sit around and laugh about these current experiences in ministry and friendships with one another. I dislike working with people. Miscommunication happens, people carry baggage (I have my own issues to contend with!) and we're all fallen creatures. Funny how it's both and I don't get to choose. We can learn and grow together and work to make the experience less crazy, but there are still things to smooth out and it's all based on the foundation of people and how we get along.

4. Prayer. One of the people at the meeting mentioned that if we are to do this certain curriculum, we need to make sure it is covered in prayer cause it's going to take a lot more than just a 10 week commitment to make it work. I thought "how much prayer cover am I getting? being in leadership is great but it puts me out there and I want to be as protected as possible in these spiritual battles we're facing".

That was sunday. I realized that if I had to do the meeting over again I would have pushed the curriculum agenda aside and just checked in with how people were doing. Instead I did a brief check in and tried to make progress with discussing things that maybe could have waited. Lessons to be learned...

Monday I woke and was still sick (oh yes, being ill at the meeting didn't really help much...). Half way through the day I began to have pain in my lower right side (just below the ribs) and was only comfortable lying down on my left side in the fetal position (not good I thought!) called Trish Morris (she works at the local hospital) and she told me to go get checked out in the Accident and Emergency department (it's their version of an ER). Went to A&E and the doctor took some blood, did some other tests and I waited for a few hours. Tests came back negative...so nothing to do with my apendix like I was worried about. The rest of the week has been a bit less eventful (still have a head cold with a stupid tickle in my throat that makes me cough!) and I've stayed home for the most part. I have had a lot of time to think about what I'm going to do with my time and to pray about what God wants me to do.

I want to ask you, my dear family and friends, if you would consider stepping up the prayer support. There is a lot going on here personally and corporately and it is always nice to know that the prayer support is happening. Please let me know if you would like to make more of a commitment AND please let me know how I can pray for you. If there is a day of the month that you could take or if there is a way to arrange something, let me know. I can't stress how important this issue is.

It has been nice to have down time though. It seems as if God is giving me time to pray and gather my thoughts and seek direction. I have had a load of caring thoughts and texts from friends here, which has been fantastic. In spite of being sick, God has been using it to show me people are supporting me here and I'm very encouraged by it all.

That's about it for now. Hope this entry finds you all well! Till next time!

Paul

coming together...

so it's been awhile...

I'm settling in, and making great frinds (i can't tell you how nice it is to feel like I can laugh and be myself around more and more people). The university group has been a good deal of fun. I don't know if we'll meet tonight, but that aside I am making good friends there.

Paul (another drummer here) has been a good friend. We like the same movies, music and his personality is almost exactly like mine! I'm blown away by how God can send someone around the world and know what type of people they would fit with.

I have been very challenged on faith and trusting God for things. I guess it's part of finding my feet here.

Anyway, I have to sign off for now, but wanted to drop a line and say I'm alright and to please keep praying. The ups are good but the challenges are going to get interesting as life goes on I expect...exciting though being a first time leader and finding out all sorts of new things!!

Miss home and hope you all are well!
Paul

Back in the UK

So...a lot has happened since I last posted, and I mean a LOT.

in a bit of a socially active room at the moment, but I'm going to attempt to fill in the blanks of the last week since I left Chicago (sigh...again) and arrived back here.

It was a great time with my folks, and Christmas day I was a bit...emotional to say the least. I couldn't figure it out, but it was really nice to be with my family (even though Aaron didn't come in the end). After home I went back to Chicago for another 9 days and had a good time seeing people. I really miss everyone. Dan and I had a GREAT chance to get caught up on life and I realized how much I took for granted all my time at Oak Park.

I will warn you now:-) that I'm going to do a bit of soul bearing, so if emotionally charged blogs isn't your thing than maybe this is one to skip...

It's amazing how easy it is to take for granted friends and co-workers. I knew when I started the internship that it would be short term and there were times where I couldn't wait for it to be over. There were days when I was so mad at the ammount of work I had to do, and I didn't realize how much growing was happening. And having amazing people around (Dan, Ian, Jen and Fifer to name a few who I saw almost every day for those two years) and people who stood with me in prayer and so much more from church...it was amazing and I miss it.

So my last night in town I was up packing at 11:30 and I thought to call my dad (we hadn't REALLY talked when I was there and I think we both wanted at least one really good quality conversation before I left). I called Dad and it hit me almost as soon as I heard his voice on the other end: I want to go home.

in 2003 I lost home. My parents moved to Arizona, I was out on my own and I knew deep inside that I would never be able to really go home. I made a secondary home of sorts at vineyard oak park, but now here I was home temporaraly and set to go back to the UK in the next 24 hours...and life felt like it would never be the same. It really hit me there talking to my dad about how much I want to belong someplace. any place where I can be myself and have people who know me and who don't tell me what I want to hear. Where I can cry and not feel I'm surrounded by strangers...I sat there talking to my dad and said "I feel like the last dregs of home are draining away and part of me wants to hold on with everything I have" and yet even with the tears streaming down my face I knew there was nothing I could do to stop the flow of time.

Dad knew how I felt and he said "I remember taking you with me to work when you were three years old. As I watch you now moving out into the world, I realize that I can't protect you anymore" as I heard the words through his teary voice I knew it was a caring father who always wanted the best for his boys and now they are all grown up. What he said next really impacted me for the journey ahead: "I want you to know that I support you in the face of the challenges and I'm cheering you on every step of the way". I knew then why I felt so emotionally charged at home. Because I wanted to be there and hang on to every last bit and memory of home.
The next day was church and I had the priveledge of playing drums. I enjoyed it much and after the 2nd service people gave their applause in thanks for being there. I talked to Ian about the subject of home and he told me everything would be ok, and that I just need to give it 5 years and then I'll be in the groove:-) that's encouraging. It was hard saying goodbye again and not knowing when I'll be back around. My visa is for one year (with an optional 1 year extension) so for at least the next year this is home. I've spent the week trying to get over jet lag (waking at 4 in the morning is hard...it's a very lonely time and it's really the only time when I look at my watch and wonder what all my friends are doing back in Chicago).

Aside from the jet lag, it's been ok so far. The jet lag has had a domino effect with feeling ready to tackle the position here. I've been trying not to worry about little things and keep my focus on God and so far I've been pleasntly surprised by how famillair things seem here (part of me that was totally worried about getting along with people before has gone and I try to just be me (I'd rather people like me for me anyway!). I've gotten along with people who I wasn't so sure about before, so that's a good thing.

I realized on the plane here that I can't do this on my own. I was praying about it and felt God say "you're right, you can't". I guess the truth is that God may be using me and working through me, but it's not about me. God has a plan here and I want to stay focused on him and that's hard to do when I'm working on so much...friendships, work, and making this place my home. The times I get worried are when I lose that focus and start to worry about me or how I'm going to get on with my life here. It is different though this time around cause I know more of what it's going to take and I've got some good foundations here already.

I've had a good weekend and there is so much more I want to say about all that I've been thinking, but I guess this will do for now. I'm thankful that my surroundings don't feel so foreign, and I don't feel like such a tourist. Prayers are still needed, and I do miss home. The upside is that I made it three months here and if I can do three, I can do six, and if I can do six...well so on and so forth.

ok I think I'm done for now. thanks for your prayers and friendships! miss you all!
Paul

Arizona: 2nd full day

So here I am. Listening to some Chicane and whatever else my MP3 player decides to dish out. It's been a nice time so far. Although the aspect of an injured mom isn't so cool. I went to ride horses today and in years past she's always gone with me. It was nice to go, but I missed her.

I think I'm getting back on my usual food intake level. I think my stomache shrank in England, so it's nice to eat:-) I know I might not enjoy the holidays in years to come when my body starts to REALLY age and dislike my food choices, but for now I'm going to be happy and eat and enjoy this time with my family. The one upshot to mom's injury is that people have been SO nice from my Dad AND my Mom's churches. I think we have enough food here to last us till the next milennium.

My brother Ethan (middle one) is coming tonight. I think we're all hoping Aaron (oldest brother) pulls a surprise and show's up this weekend. I hear he has the time for it, and it's just a question of him getting a plane here from Korea.

I was riding today, and thought what a freakin amazing life I have. I didn't think I would have experienced so much of this world by this age. God is really cool and the way He's mastered this is really amazing to say the least. I've gone through some intense challenges the last two years, but here I am in Arizona and on the verge of living for who knows how long overseas. Something that I don't have the resources to do, but God has made a way and in the process has put some great people in my life as well and I can't wait to see how the next chapter unfolds.

Well, Ethan will be here soon and I should go. But even as I read back the entries of the last few months, I'm glad for all that's happened. Even in difficult moments God is active, and I wish I could see that more when I'm in those moments! Hopefully mom will be doing better by the end of this week. I want to keep praying for her but it's hard to see past myself and let God take it. I can get worried over little things that I know I shouldn't be worried about (what if she doesn't get healed? what if I get hurt or upset at God for not healing her on my timetable?) But I think I need to put all the what if's aside and just go for it. We'll see how it goes from here.

More next time!Paul

Arizona: Arrival

So...here i am "home" with the parents. It feels a bit odd to call this home, but for lack of a better word, I'm home...at least till I'm back in Bognor.

So last friday I applied for my visa. They didn't give me the visa I was aiming for, but they were very nice at the British consulate office in Chicago (I would have thought that living in Chicago would have made them brits hard nosed about letting us in to their country, but I was wrong!) and they helped me get the visa that would suit me better. So I have a one year visa that is renewable from England and post dated for 8th of January 07 to 8th of January 08.

I got back later that day to my friends place to find my dad had left me a message on my phone. About the same time my visa was processed, my mum was busy getting thrown off a horse and she ended up with a concussion, broken collar bone and two broken ribs. lovely...

Since talking with my dad on Friday about the accident, I've been praying and feeling/ hoping that God wants to heal her. I'll give more about that later...

Friday night I saw some friends at one party and before that one ended, I moved on to see family up on the north side of the city. Man I miss this town...so many memories. Friday was cool too as I found out one of my cousin's friends has a strong tie to England, and I might see some friends there next Spring! Looking forward to that!

Saturday I had worship band practice, which was nice. I don't mind playing at Bognor vineyard. I love the church, but they just need a bass player on a consistant basis:-) So it was nice to play with a full band to say the least. Saturday night there was a leaders party at my church, and it was really wonderful to see friends and to feel like I haven't been away for 3 months. And yet in the back of my mind I wondered how my friends were back in England...and that they'd be meeting for church when I'd be sleeping, and I would be at church when it's mid afternoon there...I can't tell you how it really feels to be drawn between two places, and both of which I want to be connected to 100%. I don't have any illusions that this phase will last. There will be a day when friends here move on like I have, and it may not be so easy to connect. But for now I'm doing my best at enjoying the time I have here. God's been in so much of life on both sides of the pond, and I'm glad to see people now and share some of what I've been through while the feelings of friendship are fresh.

Saturday night i ducked out of the leaders party early to see my brother and my cousion who came in to town on his way back to Penn. state. It was a short two hour visit, but it was nice. Even taking the train was sooo familliar. and nice to be in a place where I don't need a map to get around!

Sunday was very good. I saw more people, and it was a full day of activities. Two services at church then lunch at the senior pastor's house with several of the youth (explaining to them the differences of American and English culture that I've noticed so far) and how I've gotten along with the Bognor youth. There was even a broccoli fight in there as well, which was fun.
Sunday night was the worship team christmas party, which was nice to see so many faces of people who I have been honored to serve with in worship over the last six years. I opted out of the gift exchange due to the idea that I don't need any extra crap on the plane with me, thank you very much! After the party I went and had a chance to hang out with another good friend from church, and I didn't actually get back to pack my things until after midnight, and it was after 2am when I finally got to sleep!

Today I was up at 7:30am to catch a train up to the airport. Thankfully I was able to fly standby and get on an earlier flight out of Chicago. I tried to sleep on the plane, but it's always rough trying to sleep in the "economy" class...crappy seat class if you ask me...

But here I am, sitting in my parents office typing another entry to this blog thing. I prayed for my mum tonight as well...I came in to the house and she was lying on the couch (sofa) and she cried a bit when she saw me (she doesn't take too well to vicadin or codine, so she's in some pain and uses ibuprofin to help). I cried a bit cause I felt sorry for her that she couldn't get up to hug me. Her collar bone is broken through, and it's the kind of injury that there isn't much they can do for it so it's going to heal abnormally.

I told my mum that I wanted to pray for her, so Dad and I did so. Nothing happened, at least not there and then. She's still in the other room on the couch. Those of you reading this, please pray that God does heal her. I really want to see a miracle here, and I'm going to try and pray for her every day that I'm here. My hope is that she'll be back riding horses with me by Friday. How cool would that be?

My middle brother is coming in on Wednesday night, so at least 4/5th's of us will be here for the holidays this year. I'm glad to have my passport stuff sorted, and thank you all for praying about that. That was a big hurdle, and now I feel I can relax a bit.

I'll post more later. Miss you all, and God bless!
Paul

SURPRISE!!!!!

So in case you don't know by now, this brit wanna be has returned to his home for a month.
I'm home to complete the transition to England, if that makes sense. Hopefully by Saturday I'll have my Visa all sorted, and then I'm away to Arizona for 10 days over Christmas and then back to Chicago for New Years.

I knew about this trip 3 months ago and it took a lot of effort to keep it a surprise from most people here at home. My plan was to fly in Tuesday night and show up and surprise the youth at church. Maybe even have a shot at playing drums. But due to bad weather and other delays I had the joy of spending about 12 hours seated on a cramped airplane. These things happen I know, but I think just about every other traveling experience I've had where there was time for things to go wrong have gone smoothly. So it was a bit frustraiting to say the least...

But I did get to see some people when I got in, and I can't tell you how surreal it is to be home. I've been away for what felt like ages, and then to come back and feel like nothing has changed is pretty strange. I don't like the fact that I've got a list of details staring me in the face, but I do like being in a place with familliar faces and where I don't really need a map with me to get around.

I am looking forward to going back as well. I hope to feel more setttled there and ready to tackle the new year. God has been moving so much in Bognor, and I can't wait to see how the new year unfolds for the youth, the church and the cross-church relationships I'm building.

I hope to blog more here as these next few days unfold and I get around to see friends and suss out my Visa. Please do pray that the issues of my visa, and bringing more of my stuff back to England somehow gets worked out. And that above all I'll be able to chill while I'm home.
Paul

Time ticks by...

So...

It's been almost 3 months. A lot has happened in that time.

This past weekend was a bit of a highlight. I went with Kate, Jan, Jess and a few others from church up to Winchester for a leaders day at the Vineyard there. It was really good. It was nice to see and hear from John Mumford (The national director for Vineyard UK) about all that has been happening. I can see why John Wimber liked him! Winchester was the first Vineyard that contacted me this past summer...I could have worked up there!! But Bognor is SOOO much cooler!!

During the first ministry time the pastor from the Salsbury Vineyard came and prayed for me. He had an encouraging word for me. He said he felt that God was going to make my time here more than worth it. Everything I expected isn't everything that God wants to do. BUT that in that there is struggle involved.

Monday and Tuesday were kind of tough days emotionally. I still feel at times like it's tough fitting in. I don't like the idea of starting over getting to know people...but who knows. I have to keep trusting God to lead and keep putting myself out there socially in spite of how hard it can be sometimes. Tuesday night I opened up a bit to the folks in my homegroup and it felt pretty good to feel that much more accepted.

Christmas plans are coming together here. I'll be up in Bedford with my cousins, so at least I'll see family. I did get to speak with my parents and my brother on Sunday, and that was nice. Phones are a sweet invention but Skype is so much cooler!!

I still have some dreams of Vineyard oak park. I miss friends who know me...but it'll be ok. In a years time, I'll look back and be thankful that the first year is down.

Sorry it's a tad random. I find it hard to keep things in order these days. I guess my age is showing! :-) Oh, I went with some people to see Casino royale on Sunday night. It was quite good, and I'm looking forward to the next one in two years!!

Troop and Foam are going ok. The holidays are kind of a challenge and I think we'll be a bit more settled after the new year. Please keep praying for me and the youth here. I know it will be some time before we find our groove, and we need all the prayer we can get.
Please drop me a line when you can!
Paul

Afer a while....

Ok...so it's been a little while.

Today I attended a child protection training session. I'm feeling a bit more "official" in my role now:-)

Thursday night Troop is in a bit of a fragile place, coming off a kind of tough night. My thoughts and plans for the group weren't so well accepted and we had to have a chat about some things relating to the transition phase.

When the church here started looking for a youth pastor they seemingly didn't include the youth in much of the process. These young people started this group out of an alpha course that was done 2 years ago and they have felt strongly about it being "their group" ever since. While they have had adults sit in and give direction it is a very different program approach to what I was trained in. A bit of a hard point for me to not take some of what they said that first of 2 disscussion nights personally. But the more I thought and prayed about it, I realized they don't really have grounds to know me or my life in Chicago, and God had to say "HEY! chill, it's not about you, it's about them and you need to listen to them and gather as much info as you can on the back story here". So the next week I asked DJ to come and help facillitate a discussion on how they feel. It went very well and this past week we had a social night led by Sara. This next week some of the members will take the welcome, the worship and the word time of the night.
Simalliar moves are being made with FOAM on Wed. nights. They want to have one night a month where they have a more active role in the group. So looks like my high and mighty training (or pride) needs to take a back seat and I need to learn to give some things away while at the same time providing direction or helping them stay on track with the focus of the night. If all that makes sense...

A bit of a challenge, but at the same time I feel a bit less pressure to come with something every week. Jess and Kate have been amazing here as well in helping me see the subtle differences between US youth culture and UK youth culture.

I do feel a bif of pride needs to be swallowed as well in the sense that the novelty of my arrival has worn off. So that's been a bit of a challenge.

This last week I met with a student at McDonalds here for a chat (he's from Croatia and is struggling with being a teen at the moment) and I met with another guy at Subway yesterday (he's almost 17 and his parents moved to the states without him and he's probably not going to see them for a year or so so he's going through a lot with learning to live on his own). So I'm seeing that my role is taking on a lot of discipleship aspects as well. I do like hanging out with these guys and just chatting with them about life.

This past week we started a university age small group. We meet again this week and I'm pretty stoked about it all! Please do keep praying for Troop, FOAM and the new house group. It's still challenging but I'm looking at it with some new ideas, and we could use all the prayer we can get.

I'm missing home and wish I could be there....I've dreamed of church and in my dreams no one has changed a bit! I still see the carpet in the sanctuary and the stage and all the chairs...even the lighting is the same...a bit dim at times but a warm place nonetheless...
That's life in a nut shell. Please do drop a line and let me know all that I'm missing!
Paul

quick note

So last Thursday was a bit of a night for the record books.

The las month and a half I've been leading troop and have felt a bit challenged in finding the best way to go about that. Thursday's plan for discussion wasn't well recieved and some of the students were honest about where they were at with some of the changes and I'm realizing some tough things:

The youth here really like to feel that the group is their own. They don't seem to click with the american style of leadership (youth pastor teaches every week). They want to contribute and I haven't really picked up on that.

There are other subtle cultural differences that I'm having to pick up on and adapt to. But it seems a big challenge for them is that for the last two years they've seen a lot with the group and now I'm brought in by the leadership and no one asked them if this is what they want. For them it probably feels like "here's paul, get used to him leading you".

So this week I asked DJ to come and help me clairify some things with them. It really is a learning process and I don't like it some days. But I'm really glad that last thursday some hard things got pushed onto the table and hopefully we can continue to talk about those things as they develop.

I need to run now and get some other things done. But things are really fun, I've been ice skating, off to see fire works, and out to lunch with people over the last four days!! Relationships are moving forward, and that's nice. Sorry this is so short...I wish you all could be here to see these things unfolding. It really is something!

Laters,Paul

24 hours in Bedford (posted Friday Oct. 27th)

So I'm in the bedford library. my cousin Abi has gone back to her flat with her son Owen. I came up last night on the train (a four hour trip from Bognor up through London and then north to Bedford). When I arrived Abi's husband Jon met me and after a brief hello to Abi, Jon and I set out for Damien's house (a friend of Jon's). Jon and some friends are playing a pub show in December so they got together to practice last night. They're really good and in spite of it being their first night of playing, by the end they were a fairly tight group.

Today Jon has been at work so Owen, Abi and I went to the park to let Owen have a run around while Abi and I talked about old memories of being in youth group at Vineyard Evanston and life afterwards. It's interesting comparing my experience to that of the youth here. Some of the same things that they see are on par with some of the same things I dealt with. I find myself thinking of Chris Herning (my old youth pastor) and wonder if he saw things in this way when I was a student under him.

Today was a good day. I woke feeling at peace with the fact that I'm here and that I've made some really good connections with people already. And while it has been hard to stay focused on God at times and trust Him that He is faithful to lead me through this transition phase, it is happening even when I don't see it or feel it. And having a somewhat familiar face around like Abi's is really nice. We weren't super close back in youth group (she was two years ahead of me) but we were a part of the chicago group and we all tended to stick together (late movie nights on Saturday and then go to church the next day only to sleep through the sermons!! great times!!).

Y'know, as crazy as I can feel at times about growing up and moving on, it's good overall. You'll have to forgive me, but I can tend to be a bit dramatic in my thoughts about growing up and moving on...I'm very much a people person and if I could ever put into words how I feel about my close friends I would. I know, not typical of a guy to put feelings out there, but I do have it in me (rarely as it may show!).

If you couldn't tell by now, I am also very much feelings oriented. I don't like it most days cause I can wear my heart on my sleeve (which I think drove Ian Carroll nuts some days!!!). It's funny too though because I come here and I don't have close friends who I can open up to so there is a bit of a clash of wanting to talk about how I feel (cause I can go by my feelings) and yet I have a slight reservation in opening up too quickly to people. So it's been a challenge walking that line and just letting things happen "naturally". I'm laughing at myself as I write this cause I see a bit of a paradox there if that makes sense.

Oh, something else that I've noticed here. There is a LOT of diversity in ethnic groups here depending on where you go. I know we have it in the states, but it's somehow different here. Indian, Asian, Italian, various African faces....it can really stand out to me sometimes. Even here in the library, I'm surrounded by a lot of different people.

Church is like that too. English, Scottish, Irish, Dutch...so many accents when you listen for it. It's pretty cool, and I really like getting to know people from different backgrounds. Even to see how life has progressed here since the war is interesting. I think in the states we can get land locked and we're not really the kind of people to think too far beyond our borders. But here where it's a much more central location to the rest of the world it's a lot more open. If that makes sense.

Anyway, do come and visit when y'all can. OH!! I met Sarah (an AMERICAN!) last night who was in Chicago just days ago! She was talking about Pilsen and how much she liked the city....made me miss home! We also had a bit of fun taking the mc out of the brits in the room. It was nice to hear some VERY american phrases....we had a good laugh in a way the english wouldn't understand! Heh heh heh...

But seriously. Come visit, I'd love to show off my flat and show off my surroundings. It's great here and I am moving forward. Keep in touch!
Paul

Half term

Wow. a good week overall.

Tues. night I went to housegroup and had a nice time. We had a "fun" night and did some karaoke...I did a splendid imitation of Vanilla Ice with Ice ice Baby. Made everyone laugh and I had a good time.

Wed. I went with a few others from church to a Discipleship course at a local college/ hotel here in Bognor. It was a good time all three days (Wed. thurs. Fri.). I was challenged with some new things as well as reminded of things I need to keep in mind when in leadership and teaching others as well as being taught myself....

Wed. night was FOAM. Jess was away so Kate was my help for the evening, and we both commented the next day how surprising it was that none of the students could really form their own words in response to the question "what does it mean to be a Christian?" I think that sheds some light on where to go in the future with them.

Thursday night was Troop, and that went really well. I wasn't feeling up for it (I had very little sleep the night before) and I wasn't sure if what I had prepared would fly. But after some prayer and focusing in on God, I shared what I had and the response was really good.

I opened the night by explaining that if their expectation of me is that I'm here with some great revelation from God and that I'm the one who's going to help them get their lives in order and speak direction into their lives then they're wrong. I explained that the only real amount of authority I have over them is how much they give me. I may hold the title of youth pastor, but when it comes down to it they have to make the choice to either take my suggestions to heart or go their own way. I can't make any of them do something if they don't want to do it. After that I shared about loving yourself and seeing yourself as God sees you. It was really good because I think in their lives they hear so much about love and all these great ideas surrounding that, but if a person can't love themself, how can they expect to receive love from others? or more importantly from God who created them?

Anyway, I thought it was good and one of the students even came and talked about it with me afterwards.

Friday was the Raise Ya Hands benefit concert that Sara and other students put on, and it was a really good night! Four of us opened the night with drum/ percussion solos, and Nick (a percussionist) and I were asked to close the night! It got the crowd going and a lot of good comments and overall I feel it was one of those nights that deepens friendships. All in all about 16 different acts performed, and as tired as the team seemed at the end of the night, I think it went off really well. Sara seemed relieved that it was over and done with.

Saturday was a low key day and now we head in to the half term break, so a lot of people are away this week on vacation or some other event to break away from the usual. Troop and FOAM are cancelled this week, so I may try to get out and see some sights. I'll post more when I can....miss you all!
Paul

Walking on...

Whew. what a week.
Jess and Kate (the new DNA students) helped with FOAM on WED. and Jess is in Troop on Thurs. so it's good to have some help there (FOAM needs more guys to come along...the last two weeks it's been all girls and me...I'd love to see more guys there! please pray for that to happen).
Last Tues. was bit better than monday, so things are being worked through. I still feel lonely and disconnected at points, but as I said, it takes time for all this to work out...I don't like it but it's the process God has me in I guess.

Saturday night Jess, Kate and I went to go to Chitchester to see a movie. It was a good time (although I think we all wished more people could have made it out with us). It was nice to have time to NOT think about work and the transition phase I'm in.

Sunday was church and I am now in the lead role for Grapes (the 12-18 age group). It's been going ok this past month, and in Nov. I'm going to split the ages 11-13 and then 14-18. I'll take the older crowd and see what to do with them...please pray about that. I really want to see them take steps towards a place of maturity where they can (and want to) sit in with the main service.
This week I'm busy all nights except tonight (Monday). Housegroup on Tues. FOAM on Wed. Troop on TH. and then Raise Ya Hands on Fri. RYH is the benefit show for AIDS victims in S. Africa. Pat (one of the uni students here) and I are going to open the night with a drum off! I'm pretty stoked, and I can't wait to have a bit of crazy fun:-) DVD's will be available thanks to support by Apple (yes, Sara pulled out some really amazing stops for this thing in the way of sponsorship) and I'm really thrilled to see what they put their hearts to next.

Troop has been going well. We've had some real moments of voulnerability, and I'm so thankful to God for leading the group in relationships and how He's using me to challenge them to a deeper level of relationship with Jesus. Plese pray that I would stay real and keep MY eyes on Jesus. I want to point the young people to Him and I want to speak from being in that place of a real relationship with Him.

That's most of the main news here. I'd love to hear how you all are doing. Take care! Paul

Rough day

So the last two days have been interesting. by that i mean very challenging.

I had a rough night of sleep Sunday which probably didn't help my day get off to a great start.
I got lost on my way in to work, and it wasn't fun. I felt like such a flippin' tourist and wayy out of my comfort zone.

After working at the shop all day (tearing out shelves and the leftover pieces of the wall) Jan took me shopping at a place called Tesco's (it's really close to Jewel or Dominicks). For some reason walking around tesco's really caught me off guard and I really felt insecure being there. Everything was so close to being at home yet it all stood out as completely foreign.

After that I was supposed to go to a youth and childrens worker meeting, but due to a fluke in texting here I missed a ride to the meeting and didn't go.

All that was really frustrating. I'm a world away from anything familliar and while i'm ok with it there are times where it is REALLY unsettling. I really miss home. I know I'm called to be here, but I don't like this stage. No close friends, and I feel like I'm stumbling to find my feet and fall into a rutine.

The honeymoon phase is over and coming into the fact that this is really happening is hard. Verity came back last night and she saw I wasn't having a good day and we had a long talk about it which was helpful. But I miss my friends! I miss the silly moments, the serious moments, the dull moments. In coming here I see how much I've changed over the last 6 years and a lot of that is from God, yes, but also through godly friends and I really miss you all.

Oak Park Vineyard is still MY HOME church. I may be gone, but it doesn't mean i don't want to know about life back there. I want to hear the funny, the silly, even the boring news from home. cause right now I don't exactly feel connected here...or there. I do want to know that I have friends who think of me...

I may not be the worlds greatest communicator, but I will try and keep in touch as best as I can. I miss you all so much and I can stress how much i want to still feel conneceted to home. I really want to call you and hear how you're doing in a more personal way than through a cold keyboard, but I left my cell (with all the numbers!) in the states! Email me and let's setup a time to chat over the phone...

Time for supper. There is so much more I want to say, but for now I miss home and I dearly want to know what's happening there. Ian, how did you do it? wow...
Paul

Over the wekend...

So...let's see...

Friday we met the new students coming on board for a year of discipleship training. They're cool and they seem really excited to be here (one of them even got a vision of looking out to sea a week before she heard she would be here...on the seafront!)

Saturday I moved in and last night I slept in my new flat (that's an appartment in case you didn't know. Appartments here are what we would call condominiums). I STILL have not met my new roommates yet!! They got in at like 3am and I was like "no way am I getting up now to meet them". Oh well...maybe later tonight.

saturday evening I went over to Alex Hamiltons for dinner and to watch the England Vs. macedonia football game. Alex and his wife are a really nice couple from the church and two of their kids are in the youth group at church. After that DJ came and picked me up and I went and saw "Crash" with Dj, Matt, Jess, kate, and Verity. Good movie...

Today at church I played drums and it was a good time. God really showed up and there was even an encore for "How Great Is Our God". I don't know how much I'll really use that gift here cause there is so much other stuff going on and as much as I love the drums, part of me wants to focus on other things.

After worship I led the Grapes class (12-17 age group). It went OK and I look forward to the next few weeks when we tackle Hebrews chapter 11!

After church there was an open house sort of thing at the home of one of the church members, and it was a nice time. i sat and talked mostly with the new comers which was pretty cool.
So this next week will be finding out what I need over at the new place. I'm a bit frustraited over not being able to find a power converter to plug my american electronics into (and then from there into the wall sockets here). I may get back over to Portsmouth this week to see if the stores there have what I'm looking for.

OH! i did go swimming yesterday with Jan and two of his three boys which was cool. I'm also looking at getting a membership there so I can get back into swimming three days a week.

So there's my weekend. Hope all of you across the pond are good!